For several years, I have been repeatedly told, "You should have a blog." I know each time I receive that comment, a compliment is intended, but I never take it that way. It seems like everyone I know has a blog already. Why add to the noise?
I assume that having a blog means that one's thoughts are somewhat organized. Well, mine aren't. If you know me, you might assume that I have little Rubbermaid boxes inside my head with various topics neatly organized, colorful dividers separating the subtopics. Well, that's not how it is at all. Not now, anyway. Maybe it was that way once, but now, it resembles my desk. Oh, except my desk has nothing on it in which I am currently remotely interested -- a computer, a banana peel, empty coffee cup, coupons, tax forms, calculator, stapler, stuffed animals to mend, night-vision goggles, chargers of various sorts, yarn, broken electronics toys, a paper cutter, and much, much more. See, this stuff in my head -- there's a lot of it -- that's the stuff that gets my attention, and it's organized much like my desk is not.
I also assume that to have a blog, someone out there should want to read it. I think I was afraid that if I put my thoughts out into the blogosphere, the reality of disinterest in my thoughts would be harsh and cold, and add to my general stress level. But then, the idea of having just a private journal for myself also kept arising. And in that case, it wouldn't be shared with anyone, anyway, so why should I care if anyone reads it?
Another assumption I've made about blogs, perhaps because I read some pretty spectacular ones, is that they should contain some unique ideas, and that's not something I am certain I can provide. I do think the best blogs demonstrate new ways of thinking about certain concepts, or get people thinking about ways to better themselves or the world. I'm not sure I can do that, either.
I also thought, if I had a blog, I would try my best not to offend anyone. Maybe I have grown up a bit, because I think that's impossible. It's like pleasing people -- you can never please one-hundred percent of the people one-hundred percent of the time. And, striving not to offend people involves a certain amount of playing ostrich. I truly think this is harmful to one's health and to relationships. So, I am not going to worry about that too much. Selfishly, it's for my own sanity.
I thought maybe I should have a pen-name or something like that, to protect my identity, but my husband said, "No. Just be yourself. There's no reason to hide." So, I hope that's true.
A big reason I haven't started a blog until just now was that I enjoy the process of sharing ideas with people face-to-face, in real time, in a space where my personality and intentions are the subtext and are rarely misinterpreted. I can have a pretty twisted sense of humor which doesn't always carry over well to the written word. Sarcasm and facetiousness are tools I use regularly, many times when trying to convey a metaphorical relationship between ideas in an entertaining way. It is in this way that I have made friends, and I worry, despite my own dependence on it, that the digital age robs us of the time to foster those kinds of interactions.
What this blog may not be: organized, interesting, unique, or friendly. What this blog will be: a collection of my experiences and thoughts, with references to influential sources. Maybe you'll find something to get you thinking about a new idea, or maybe you will have some information to share in the comments. In this blog, I will not be an ostrich. Anything is fair game. Most of my ideas will not be fully developed when they are posted. Perhaps you can help me evolve. Or not. You can always close this tab, anyway!