Sunday, January 13, 2019

The Divination Project: Part 17: Tetrahedron

It is Saturday morning, and Alice awakens at nearly 11 am. She was up until 4:00, riding the high of writing Part 17. She hasn't been to the grocery store yet this week, so she has to scrounge for breakfast. She takes four bacon-wrapped dates out of the container she and Carl made the evening before he left and puts them on a small plate. She knows she needs some protein, but dare not touch dairy, just yet, because of its mucus-luring qualities. She finds two very thin bread heels and smears some almond butter on one, and squirts honey onto the other.

The night before, while writing, she had realized she had some Thai tea in the cabinet, as well as condensed coconut milk in the pantry. Those items had been there a very long time, but clearly they were there for a reason. Sally was delighted to discover her mother's brilliant snackvention. Alice loves dreaming up delicious snacks, especially when she is high. She really likes to make vanilla mug cakes with chocolate chips, but often it's as simple as mixing cereal with dried fruit, or putting nutella on something different. These are all very calorie-dense suggestions, it is true. So, when she's being mindful, and has otherwise eaten enough the rest of the day, she relies on hard candy and bubble gum to keep herself from constantly eating. Both Charlotte and Sally's snack taste tends toward frozen blueberries or cherries, and Alice thinks that is brilliant and tasty.

Anyway, she makes herself another Thai tea for breakfast to go with her bread heel sandwich and bacon-wrapped dates, and starts watching the What is Reality? video her father sent her.

The young female host explains that she wants to tell the viewer about how the future creates the past, which then creates the future. Then, she goes on to talk about crystals, and how a group of physicists in Los Angeles are working on the 8D projection of a crystal. When they bring that 8D crystal back into a 4D quasicrystal, and then bring that crystal into 3D, which, she says, "they believe is the fundamental substructure of all reality."


The building blocks of this 3D crystal that is reality are tetrahedrons.

That is the message she has in her head when she leaves to take the Akashic Records class.


At the grocery store after the class, Alice is totally ungrounded. The grocery store is not far from the class, so after being in another dimension, very literally, Alice would like to add, it took her quite a while to get back to Earth. She is actually not sure she is quite back. And that is probably a slight can of worms for reasons she will explain later.

She doesn't normally go to the grocery store on a Saturday, because she detests crowds. But the trip is an absolute necessity as the fridge itself is hungry. She tries to reach Carl in Asia before entering the store, but he doesn't answer. Just a few aisles into the store, her phone rings.

"Oh, my god! I just had the most amazing experience in that class! I want to tell you about it so badly!!" Alice expresses passionately.

"Hey, that's really great! Today I am going to a Secret Island to hike to a waterfall and have an 8-course lunch," he replies.

"Whoa! That sounds amazing!" and for a fleeting moment, she's just a wee bit sad that she is not there with him. Asia is, well, life-changing. Their clients would just love for them to live there. But when Alice went to visit, she was sick the whole week, and had to be near a toilet. A day after returning home, her symptoms mostly resolved, but she was left with a case of GERD that lasted two years. It turned out that the two men she and Carl spent the most time with over there had also developed GERD since her visit, and ended up having to get scoped. Alice was really worrying about that prospect as it had put a major damper on her libido and mood in general, and also her grandmother died of esophageal cancer, and cystic fibrosis dF508 carriers commonly suffer from GERD. Luckily it resolved after she went on blood pressure medication. So, she has a lot of fear around this for her kids, because they were so sensitive when they were younger, and they are doing so well. She does not know their carrier status but has counciled them both that it is something they may want to figure out before having children, although it may be a moot point as more becomes understood about the disease (she is not a genetic determinist, but believes that "genetics loads the gun and environment pulls the trigger).

She realizes he is staying in the hotel they stayed at together, and so she can imagine she is there with him, and as she does this, the grocery store kind of melts away. She pulls her cart over in the bulk section as not not interfere with other customers in the busy store. In her head, she imagines him laying in bed, phone to his head. He's just been awake for 20 minutes.

She tells him the great epiphanies she had about the nature of her existence, right there in the middle of the grocery store. And then she suddenly realizes she is in the grocery store.

"This feels weird talking about this here," she notes. "I think I'll write about it later."

"Have you cracked?" Carl says.

"Yes. We already discussed this. I cracked two weeks ago. You were there. I'll never be the same," she reminds him.

"Yeah," he mutters. "Well, I gotta go take a shower. I love you."

"I love you, too," Alice says, "Have soooooooo much fun, and make sure you take lots of photos."

She hangs up the phone and then proceeds to get groceries as she thinks of them, since she has no list, so with no efficiency whatsoever. On Saturday, in a very busy store. Still mostly in some other dimension. She has never crisscrossed the grocery store so many times in one visit. But she's still nowhere near getting her steps for the day once night falls.


When she gets almost all the way to class, she realizes she is extremely anxious. She is anxious because she still has a cough, and although she hasn't had a fever in many days, the instructions explicitly mentioned not to come if you are ill. And Alice has a real thing about people going places and exposing others to illness when they are ill. And she knows that Sarah the instructor does, too, for very justifiable reasons. However, that being said, it is not uncommon for things to settle in Alice's chest and leave her sounding less than well for a few weeks. She takes a toke off her 1:1 vape pen, and it calms her.

Upon arrival at the class, she finds Lou, who has texted her asking if she was there yet just as Alice is leaving the house. And she also finds Sarah, the instructor, chatting with Lou. They are both seated on chairs in a circle.  Alice spaces herself evenly from them, since they have a chair between them. Sarah stands up and hugs Alice, saying it has been a long time since they have seen each other.

Has it been that long? Sarah had done a psychic reading for Alice when Lynne had suggested they both see a psychic or a tarot reader. Maybe that was in 2017. So yeah, that was a while back. So much has happened since then. Anyway, Sarah also happens to be a fellow homeschooling mother who was involved in the homeschooling support group Alice was a member and volunteer for 11 years. Because Alice did the list moderation and new member processing, she was the one who got to know a lot of wonderful families all over Northern Colorado. The group was secular in nature, and as such attracted a lot of children who were pulled out of school because their learning needs were not being accommodated by the school system, or because, sadly in more cases than she would like to admit, the child was so miserable in school that they had seriously contemplated suicide. And the common age when this happened was 10 years old.


Ten is like, what. 4th, 5th grade? Those are the years where the testing and measurement get a little more serious in nature. Play and exploration during school become less and less during this time. Often the child had trouble with handwriting or learning cursive, especially boys, and the increased attention to handwritten assignments chips away at a struggling child's self worth.

It's possible to get tired on a journey, and need a little break before starting again, but breaks are not afforded in institutionalized education. So, if a child is struggling, and they're never feeling caught up, eventually they are going to develop learned helplessness.

Before The Divination Project, what Alice had was Learned Helplessness. What she needed to do was back out of life altogether and just be with herself to figure out, under all the stress and pressure to conform to society, who was really under there? And then, she had to do more of what that person wants to do. And that is self love is practiced.

Kids don't have that option. Except Alice's kids did, and so do many in the homeschooling group. It was always amazing to see those kids who once dreaded being alive coming back to life.

And somewhere along the homeschooling journey, the family joined The Innovation Lab/be you project that was started within one of the local high schools when Hannah, who had taught math for 20 years, noticed how her students were struggling, and asked them if they would like to try to learn it themselves. It was through that experience that Nolan got to meet James Bach, one of the world's most respected software test engineers (and son of Richard Bach, author of Jonathan Livingston Seagull). James proclaimed Nolan "The Real Deal" after Nolan, at probably 9 years old, had programmed, using HTML5 or AJAX or something like that, his very own public blogging domain. Nolan had felt like a failure because the project, Blog About Your Dog, where anyone could come leave a comment about their dogs, such as, "My dog Warf is tired of me typing and keeps bumping my elbow. He really loves me," ended up becoming filled with spam advertisement for products for erectile dysfunction.

James and Alice had done some brainstorming about what makes a good mentor, and it felt like they were trying to save the world together. So many of the ideas they expressed - to be detached and meet the mentee where they are, to be patient, to recognize places where one could learn from the mentee, to be kind, respectful and encouraging, to help the mentee see their strengths - were all things that Alice had figured out from the various failures and successes in her long educational history. She never imagined she would meet anyone who would so perfectly embody this ideal. She had this feeling, when she was talking with James, that someone who could embody those qualities would have a tremendous effect on society. That power is worth more than anything in this material realm. That is the ability to heal people.

That, she knows, is why teachers go into the profession. But the layers of educational dogma make it a huge challenge to keep one's head on straight and be strong for students. Teachers need students to perform well on the tests, because their jobs depend on it. But focusing on the tests themselves is focus on an endpoint rather than on the magic in a journey, and that is where misery starts.

Magic, and real growth, is in letting rather than pushing.

Anyway. Alice and Sarah had met through this organization for educational and societal change.

And Alice and Lou had met through their interest in the teachings of Dr. Raymond Peat, who happened to start William Blake College, an unschooling college, in Mexico, many years ago.

For all this familiarity, Alice was still nervous, because she knew her understanding of these women she already had so much in common with was going to expand tremendously.

As people come through the door, which Alice was sitting by, she realizes she can go sit between Sarah and Lou. After a while, the seats in the room are filled by a circle of maybe 11 women. The women go around the room and introduce themselves. One woman is a writer who wrote a book about spiritual journeys and is now working on another book which may be channeled science fiction.

Alice suddenly realizes that this connection to source is extremely powerful for creative work.

Another woman announces that she is having a Dark Night of the Soul, and as she says it, she starts crying.

Sarah gets a box of tissues and puts it in the center of the circle. "Everyone is going to cry at some point today," she says. "It's just part of the experience."


When Alice was in High School, she did all the things. She probably wrote about this already, so she doesn't want to spend too much time on it, but if you know her, you know whatever she does, she does 110%. That's the way she did High School, graduating with honors. And she never took notes or did much studying. (No fair calling her a liar here - when she went to college, it was a rude awakening).

Her parents have a circle of friends from church which consists mostly of her own friends' parents, and then another couple whose sons are slightly older, but did attend Alice's High School. This couple are both psychologists. So, their group of friends tends to get together and discuss various topics. Recently they discussed CRISPR, and Alice's father asked her for an opinion. She wrote about that in Part 10, she thinks, which she hasn't completed or published yet. They also talk about enneagrams and Myers-Briggs tests and other psychological whatnot. And when Alice was graduating from high school, one of the psychologists (who might even be reading this blog, because once a few years ago, he wrote to encourage her to write more) wondered aloud to Alice's mother when Alice was going to go "Supernova."

Well, many more times than once has Alice thought she is going "Supernova" since, well, probably January 2017, when she had her hypertensive crisis.

So, well. Thank goodness for the support network of people in her life who the Universe brings so she can see that this is not her going crazy, rather awakening more fully. Because honestly, her rapidly changing perspective scares her.

And there's that feeling - fear.

Alice knows The Veil, the Maya, is made of fear. And that she can choose what she believes to be real. So she is going to believe that this is an awakening, because it is in her power to do that.


At the grocery store checkout, the cashier is a man who has helped her before. Standing behind the customer he is helping, she remembers that the previous time, she had been behind a woman who was a little flustered and in a hurry, but also needing special assistance. He was continually talking, explaining himself.  When she left, he had turned to Alice and said, "Can I just have a minute?"

She smiled at him and said, "Of course. Take several. I'm in no hurry."

This is how you wield privilege. You do it in the service of others.

When all her groceries were packed up, he said the funniest thing to her. "Thank you so much for being such a patient person."

So, it happens again today that he is her cashier. Today, she is behind a woman who is having an issue over the price on something from the bulk section - for maybe forty cents. She feels badly for both of them and tries to smile compassionately so they understand she is not upset.

When the woman leaves, Alice, standing in front of the register, is way out in the aether, still, processing what has happened in her class, maybe still in class. Maybe still in Asia with Carl. She is excited about all the possibilities from what she learned from Sarah. Suddenly, she becomes aware that the cashier is speaking, and doesn't comprehend any of what he is saying. Most of her purchases are piling up by the bagging area.

"There's no bagger," he says.

She moves around the end to bag her groceries.

"You don't have to do that," he says.

"Oh, I really don't mind. Sorry, I wasn't here. I was way out there," she says, waving her hand up in the air about 2 o'clock.

He tilts his head and looks at her. "You're a weird lady."

"Yeah, I know. But it's a good kind of weird," she reassures him. "I just took a meditation class, and I'm just not back here yet." Indeed, when she left the class, Sarah had recommended they all ground themselves, and Alice had imagined the color red and energy moving from her root chakra down through her legs into the ground, feeling the warmth as she imagined. But then she stood up and walked out the door with Lou, leaving her purse underneath her chair.

As she came in to retrieve her purse from under the chair next to Sarah, Sarah looked at her, and Alice muttered, "Not grounded."

Sarah laughed. "When this first happened to me, I was way out there a lot of the time." Sarah has such a wonderfully calm, reassuring demeanor.

"So, is it like when you come out of a movie, and you're still feeling the movie," the man muses, putting her food into paper bags with her. She had forgotten her reusable bags in the car, just as she had forgotten her purse at class.

"Yes!" Alice exclaims. "That is exactly what it is like. I am still watching my movie. It is a beautiful movie!"

"Cool," he says, placing the rest of the groceries in the bag. "Come back and see me sometime."

"Of course," she says, smiling.


They start with a simple chakra-balancing meditation, but there is a difference to her from what she experienced with solitary Yoga Nidra practice over the last few months. Sitting there in this circle of women, between her healer friends, all open and aware and trusting of their intuition, the energy is like being wrapped in a warm blanket from the inside outward. She can feel it entering through her crown and flowing out her finger tips, as well as down through her trunk and legs and into the ground. It is the first time she has felt the energy this tangibly since she and Carl took photos together, and before that when she met Mr. Touchy Feely, and before that, when she met her new uncle and got to see her aunt, uncle and cousins in New York, and before that, the last time she saw Jeff. And she knows she is in the right place, because that energy is Love.

Sarah then explains that they will receive a symbol which their individual guides will imprint upon them, which is the key to the Akashic records. What are the Akashic records? In the spiral-bound book she gives each woman, she includes the following quote by Edgar Cayce:

"The Akashic Records, or "The Book of Life," can be equated to the universe's supercomputer system. It is this system that acts as the central storehouse of all information for every individual who has ever lived upon the earth. More than just a reservoir of events, the Akashic Records contain every deed, word, feeling, thought, and intent that has ever occured at any time in the history of the world. Much more than simply a memory storehouse, however, these Akashic Records are interactive in that they have tremendous influence upon our everyday lives, our relationships, our feelings and belief systems, and the potential realities we draw toward us."

Alice has a feeling that the Akashic Records are analogous to all the Hero's Journeys, or Karmic Lessons that a person's soul needs to learn to ascend in consciousness, but she isn't sure. So this seems to fit with her theory, anyway.

Everything centers around meditation. All imagination. All play.

After the wave of warm energy she feels (it is possible she just ovulated, because yeah, it's kind of like that), Sarah then guides them into a forest. When they get deep into the forest, she instructs them to visualize a door, and walk through it. Alice sees a white door that looks like a garden gate at the end of the very dense forest. She walks through the door and is in a Hobbit Hole. She has often called her studio The Hobbit Hole, because Carl dislikes the low ceiling. And now that she's cracked, she has entertained the notion of going with a whole Miracle Max theme. But the walls are drywall painted the most perfect white, rather than unprocessed earth, so it's missing something that way. But anyway, in her vision, there is an alcove near a little round window, and in the alcove is a bed made of clear quartz crystal (which is reminiscent of the lamps by her bed which she inherited from her parents). On the bed is a lavender goose down duvet. She lays down on the bed, feeling the duvet rise up around her, and Sarah says to visualize her guides there, ready to imprint the seal upon her heart. She tries, but she cannot see them. They are simply glowing orbs of light, sometimes sending a shoot out of their light bodies like a star in the universe or a neuron in tissue culture under a microscope.

As her guides push the seal into the air and it flows down into her heart, she feels warmth. Then, the women thank their guides and get up out of the beds, walking through the doors, coming back through the forest, back to the room.

They share their experiences. Their doors all look different. Their guides are all different, too. One woman's guide is a Raven. Another has a man in a black cloak with glasses. Lou has a kangaroo.

They then set an intention to meet their guides to ask for entry into the Akashic Records. They pray to open themselves as clear channels for the messages for the highest good. Sarah discusses that everything should be approached with the highest vibration, and Alice remembers months earlier when she realized (AGAIN - she knew this as a teen) that as long as she could remain detached from outcomes, optimism was always the best route. Acting in accordance with abundance, rather than scarcity, brings abundance.

Next, they enter the hall containing their individual records. Alice's looks like a 1950's - era high school library, except it is very brightly lit. There is a long desk and her guides are behind the desk. The central one is a large orb of light, and there is a slightly smaller one to its left, and an even smaller one to the right. Here, they are not sending out tendrils of light. She enters, gratefully, and asks her first question.

It is easy for her to come up with questions now. She learned it from the Tarot.

"What do I need to know to live my highest purpose? What do I need to do next?" she asks.

"You are right where you need to be right now," they say.

Alice smirks and lets a puff of air out her nose. She knows this. She knew it when she felt the energy during the chakra clear. She knows it because she is sure that the Universe led her to this moment, because she was never in any doubt. There are no coincidences.

And there may be no Free Will. Her horoscope has mentioned that this weekend will be one of the best she has had in a long while.

Since she's still there, she asks if she needs to do anything else regarding her relationship with Carl. She has put so much into healing herself and connecting with him to heal their connection over the last two years, she isn't sure if there is still more proactive work to do, or if she can finally have a break and enjoy the fruit of her labor.

"No, he is doing the work now," they assure her.

Then, she asks if she needs to do anything in particular with the kids, and her guides tell her just to spend more time with them and enjoy them. Validation of her plans.

She asked if this is her ego answering.

"No," they say, conclusively.

She is pretty sure it isn't her ego. When she arrived in the room and had to introduce herself, she initially just wanted to say, "I am." Because none of the rest of her story really mattered. If someone wants to read it, it is here now. Or she couldn't do it justice in two minutes, anyway. But she knows she probably shouldn't seem disinterested, and so she gives the whole neurobiologist homeschooling mother who is meditating schpeel, and feels gross about it, because she feels like it makes her seem like she is trying to sound special. And she is special, but everyone is special. So, she notes the gross feeling and forgives herself. It's hard to peghole Alice. She just is. But she also added that she felt like she was at her first day at Hogwarts, putting her fists up in front of her chest in glee, as if giving herself a hug, and shimmying a little, while grinning. This remark got a laugh out of several of the women.

"Now, close your records and come back to the room," Sarah instructs the women.

They take a short break and then come back to discuss what they saw. Everyone's record halls look totally different. Some are in outer space. Some are libraries like Alice's. Some people have free access to their records. For one woman, the records are in a single book. For another, they are in a colorful orb, which she can swipe through, but she can't see anything, and when she asks why, her guides tell her she is trying too hard.

Sarah announces they will go in again, and Alice is surprised, because that was so much more information than she would ordinarily get in a single mediation session. She was a satisfied customer. Now, she almost feels greedy in going back, especially since her guides said she's doing just fine.

But, with the group, she goes back into the brightly lit hall and asks her Record Keeper if there is anything she needs to know to move forward in her understanding, and they reply that she needs to look into the "soul brick" and "syntropy." When this message is conveyed, she gets a very clear image in her head from the "What is Reality?" video her father had sent her the day before.

The Tetrahedron.

On three separate occasions this week, she has gotten the message that the future makes the past which makes the future. One is in the "What is Reality?" video, and then another is in the Quark Science episode on Nothingness. And then another was in a Tarot reading done by her instructor, who explained syntropy in that manner. Alice, the Tarot reader says, is experiencing syntropy.

Alice wonders if she is collecting evidence for paranormal phenomena, or if paranormal phenomena really are just physics. Or, of course, there is the possibility she is really cracked. But she's always thought of calling this blog "I can rationalize anything," and isn't that what Jung, Einstein, Timothy Leary and other great thinkers have done?


Alice has always wondered why people can't just get along. Some of the Divination Project, and a lot of her tarot and astrology studies have helped her realize the myriad factors which affect even the smallest interactions between people. Primarily, dogmatic belief systems, shame and false beliefs about the true nature of others (scarcity mentality from past trauma) keeps people from connecting. But there can also just be energetic disconnects due to differences in levels of consciousness, or people being at different places in their journeys.

It took a long time to understand all of this. But she's pretty sure it's in the Akashic records, and/or the collective consciousness (are they the same?), because she has seen memes to this effect on Instagram.

So yeah. In the same context, tetrahedrons being the basic unit of reality, and souls occurring in a brick. "That sounds like soul pods," the other writer offers.

Maybe there is an optimal number for connection and manifestation, Alice thinks.

Neptune in Sagittarius? Does good astrological synastry in a pod create more powerful manifestation?

Maybe these thoughts are just madness.


After the next break, the women are instructed how to go ask for information on Past Lives.

Alice has figured out through the first two trips inward that the Akashic Records are exactly what she hoped. A library of Hero's Journeys.

And these orbs - she realizes she has been talking to them for years. But for the first time, now, she knows what they look like. This is exactly what she says to Carl on the phone in the grocery store which prompts him to ask her if she has truly cracked. She wonders if people who "hear voices" aren't just confused by the battle between ego and knowing, and industrialized society, which feeds ego, just labels them as broken rather than woken. That's what Jung says, anyway.

"What?! Why does it matter if it really happened or not? It was the same as just using my imagination, from a place of love. It is definitely not going to hurt anyone, and it may actually help people," this is how Alice is broaching the "cracked" situation.

That her own visions have qualities like the other womens', yet are different, is a phenomenon she is used to from her time in the art world. Ten artists can be painting the same subject and they will have both similar and different qualities, as their perspectives vary.

You can choose the negative interpretation, or you can choose the positive. Everyone sees the same thing through a different lens. Alice has decided to mindfully choose her lens.


Sarah doesn't even get past the opening prayer and Alice runs up to the Record Keepers at the desk, almost out of breath in her vision, keen on knowing about her past lives. When she saw the Tarot reader with Juniper, she was told that she had been a sea captain and a queen in past lives.

"Record keepers, what do I need to know about my past lives?" she blurts.

All of a sudden, she is in the Improv theater, which is empty, and there is a comic with a bottle in a paper bag, sitting on the edge of the stage. This is her, in a past life. A washed-up alcoholic comedian in his 30's.

From her time playing with her guides and the tarot, she learned that the Universe has a funny sense of humor. So, she thinks maybe the orbs were razzing her for running in there so irreverently. She backs out and joins the other women in prayer, and walks into her hall with calmer intentions, this time.

"Record keepers, what do I need to know about my past lives? Thank you," she asks. When she reads Tarot, her process is very simple. Although she has written words here which she communicates, she doesn't use English language when she actually does it. She sends a loving intention into the Universe. She trusts they know her well enough to know she does not want to use any knowledge for malicious intent. She wants to know what she wants to know so she can be the highest manifestation of Love as she walks through her life.

All of a sudden she sees a vision of a rose garden and learns that in a past life she is a widowed flower gardener. She needs to spend a lot of time alone, and in the sun, tending to the beautiful life she is cultivating.

"Record keepers, what do I need to bring or what have I brought with me from that past life that I need to be aware of in this life?" Alice asks. This is a question she was taught to ask in Tarot class.

Immediately, she gets a very clear message that whatever she plants should be something she loves. That gardens don't need to have vegetables. It is okay to just have flower gardens. They tell her everything in her garden should bring her joy, and should not be something planted and tended out of perceived obligation. Then, she receives the message that she still plants seeds and cultivates life in this life with other people, and that the same rules apply. The lives that come together in the resulting soul pods arise from the dispersal of her loving and creative seeds. Then, the souls come together in love to manifest growth and release more creative seeds, and it is these seeds that nucleate the crystals of reality.

Later, at home, she realizes that this was the message in the last smoke signal, and that now she understands Jeff's entire body of work. Elegant. And you, sir, are the mentor I envisioned with James Bach. Thank you.

She reads this to the other women, who have had such visions as being unable to see anything in their records, because their Record Keepers say they know enough for now, and one also learning that she and her husband had been homesteaders in Wyoming before, and that this time they are repeating the life to learn to work to live, rather than live to work. (Which is funny because Alice nearly wrote about that in Part 16, in the context of Nolan's Karmic Path last night).

"Um, you said this felt like your FIRST day of Hogwarts," Sarah says to Alice.

Alice probably blushes. "I hang out in the higher dimensions a lot these days. Actually, I just figured out that I have been talking to my guides through the Tarot - I just couldn't see them! And just a week or two ago, I got the message that I need to spend at least some time in the 3D."

All those D's, right Charlotte?


The women go back into their Records Halls again. Each trip in is for about 15 minutes, and they do this for three hours. It is intense.

When Alice re-enters her hall, she decides that maybe her guides aren't kidding about the comedian. Maybe they appreciate her enthusiasm, and this is, maybe, the most important message she will receive. She asks them for more information.

She learns that her alcoholism during her life as a comic was what she used to numb her heart to the pain of all her failures, but it ended up pushing everyone in her life away from her. She had a good, truthful message, but a quirky delivery that not everyone could connect with, so that meant a lot of drinking.

"What am I supposed to bring forward from this past life from that life?" Alice asks.

"You have acquired the ability to be ridiculed and persist in trying to bring joy into the lives of others, even if you sometimes fail," the orbs tell her.

"What lesson have I learned in this lifetime to heal that lifetime?" Alice asks.

"You have learned that there are other better ways to protect your energy so that you can go forth in authenticity without concern of judgment to help others feel comfortable with their own imperfections," the orbs inform her.


When she realizes this, she cries.


Sarah announces they will go in one last time.

When Alice reaches the desk with her guides, they know exactly what she is there to ask.

This is more like what it has always been for her. The guides speak to her through people, through the media, through animals and nature. But in that way, sometimes the information retrieval is not intentional. Usually she asks a question of the Universe, and it speaks to her in synchronicities. It takes a while to connect them and get the message. Searching the Akashic Records is a way into Free Will in this way, she supposes, because as long as one can think of the right questions, or at least let them come rather than trying to force them, the guides will be giving.

Right, like anything else - learn the rules so you can use them to your advantage, rather than just being told what to do all the time. Like Jung said, the path to happiness is learning to make systems work for us, rather than working for systems. This is exactly what she talked about on the phone with her father yesterday. Everything is fractal. Everything is a metaphor.

This time, she finds herself standing in Mary Queen of Scots' chamber in Edinburgh Castle. She is a handmaiden to the Queen. This is why when she visited the Castle as a child, she felt like she had been there before. She has this feeling a lot. Also, Edinburgh felt like home to her. As a handmaiden, she had a child of her own, but she was very devoted to the Queen. She would do anything for her, serving her selflessly. So, when the Queen was beheaded, Alice's heart was broken.

The guides tell her the lesson she was supposed to learn in that lifetime was to practice detachment in her care for people and outcomes, but still work with the same love - compassion. Also, she was to recognize meaningful vs. busy work. The guides also tell her that the hardest work is now behind her and she can focus now on connection to source.


When she gets home with the groceries, Nolan has only been up since 3 pm, and Sally had awakened at 1 pm. She has never really liked to force her kids to be on a sleep schedule, but of course school has necessitated this.

The night before, when she went to bed early in the morning, she had another exciting encounter with Nolan. He showed her a Midi text file parser playing the theme song from The Office, which he made on MIT's Scratch platform, which is like computer coding with Legos. In 2012, the family was invited to MIT because they had been interviewed for their collaborative efforts in projects on the platform. And then, the grad student, Karen Brennan, who was in Mitch Resnick's Lifelong Kindergarten Lab over the Scratch program, got to meet Nolan and Sally in person at a coding camp in Denver. Nolan had programmed an operating system in Scratch. The family went to Cambridge, MA and felt that they had found their people. The bookstore by the hotel had books on artificial intelligence and neuroscience. Mitch Resnick's lab was full of Legos. Sally and Alice participate in a Rube Goldberg Machine teambuilding exercise in the Lab, which feels like a cross-between a preschool playroom and the offices at Sparkfun in Boulder. Nolan, 12 years old at the time, asks questions of a graduate level nature in a classroom full of educators from all over the country. After his session, he is greeted by Mariana Ludmila, who works with Nicholas Negroponte who started the One Laptop Per Child program, to give laptops to every child on earth. She wants to give the family a laptop.

Mariana is also an unschooling mother, and appoints Alice administrator of a very large Unschooling forum on Facebook. Their online friendship continues to this day, even on Instagram, Mariana posting insights from Seymour Papert, John Dewey, John Holt, and other big educational thinkers who write about the shortcomings of institutionalized learning.

A professor at Columbia University asks if his teaching students can interview Sally and Nolan about their usage of Scratch, and the kids have a video chat with a class of emerging educators a year later.

While at MIT, Nolan identifies a significant bug in the code of the new platform they are going to release the next day, worldwide, and the appoint him as the first child participant on the alpha testing team.

So the fact that he has made a Midi file parser is not a surprise in terms of his capability, it was a surprise because to this day, her son is so at ease with himself, he does not feel any shame for using his highly evolved skills in utterly playful ways. And that is precisely why his skills have become so evolved. And that is what Alice has learned from her children, both of them.

She is excited to tell them everything she learned in her Akashic records class. She doesn't know how they will receive the information. They are a family who used to watch Through the Wormhole and Cosmos on Sundays, for Science Sunday. She asks them both if they have watched the video her father sent about Reality. She sent it to them in their family Hangouts chat, to which pictures of cute baby animals, unbelievable things, important political developments, pop culture, and psychological and technical advancements are shared daily. They haven't.

She proceeds, anyway, explaining that what she is tapping into is her own creativity, which was less of a problem when she was a child. "It's hard to do this when you're an adult. I know it seems like I am going crazy, but what I realized is I can choose to see it like that, or I can choose to see it as finding a beautiful ability. Does it matter if it is not hurting anyone else? What if it is helping others?"

"True," they both say.

"Hey, did you sign Grandpa's birthday card?" Sally asks, bringing the handmade card over.

Sally makes cards for everyone in the family, just like Alice and her sister used to do as girls. Sally's cards, though, are especially brilliant, and capture the essence of squee. But this card, in Alice's opinion, was Sally's best ever.

It is a brown bear astronaut, floating through space. And this is just part of Sally's brilliance. Sally, the girl who shares a birthday with George Bernard Shaw, Carl Jung and Stanley Kubrick, and who carries aspects of them in her very being.

Alice's guides are spot on. The kids are fine. All she needs to do is enjoy them.

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